Before I begin this post, I would like to say that I know that not all men are under the impression that women don’t want the full and honest truth.
You’ve probably heard it before: a woman asks her significant other if she looks good in a certain outfit or if her jeans make her look fat. To this you’ve probably heard that women don’t want the truth, but rather want you to simply say, “Yes, you look good”, or “No, those [insert clothing choice here] don’t make you look fat”.
Perhaps some women (and men) don’t want the truth when it comes to how they look. Maybe some women and men simply want their significant other to say that they look good, whether or not it’s true. However, I think some people want the full and honest truth – if they look a certain way, they want to know. Period.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think anyone wants a mean response. No one wants you to say to them, “Yeah, those jeans make you look like a fat pig” – that’s just wrong. I do think though that some people want to know if their outfit looks unattractive on them or if there’s something they can do to improve their appearance.
I think this whole idea that you see in media and in society that men and women can’t handle the truth is wrong. Sure, it might hurt a little to know that something doesn’t look good on us, but just because something might hurt our feelings a little, doesn’t mean that all of us don’t want the truth. To be honest, I’d rather know if something is unflattering on me than walk around with it on, thinking it looks good when it doesn’t.
Let me give you an example. Friends is by far my favorite show and while I find the following part funny, I have to say I disagree with Ross and Rachel’s advice to Chandler about what to do when Janice asks if she looks fat:
I think that if a woman (or man) asks if they look fat, and if the person they ask thinks they do, they should say so. No, not in a mean way, but as polite as they can manage. Maybe they can say, “That outfit doesn’t work for you” or “A better outfit might look better”. A person shouldn’t use the word ‘fat’, but saying that something doesn’t work for one’s body type isn’t the worse thing in the world to say.
I think that if you don’t want the truth in any form, you shouldn’t be asking others for their opinion. If you are asked for the truth, give it but in a kind way.Don’t do the following, but don’t lie either:
In my opinion, honesty is always the best policy (unless of course you don’t want to tell someone what you’re giving them as a birthday gift or you’re protecting your privacy, but that’s a different story altogether). I don’t think that lying to spare a person’s feelings is a good idea. You can – and should, however, be respectful and kind while telling the truth.