To Those Who Wrongfully Label – A Letter

Getting Through Anxiety

Dear Label Maker,


Please resist the urge to label that which you don’t understand. I know that sometimes the world can be a confusing place and that it brings out the temptation to create definitions, but doing so can be harmful to others. If you want to understand what someone is going through, please have the decency to ask instead of jumping to conclusions.


Creating false labels is not only caustic to those who you label, but also causes misconceptions and stigmas. Stigmas are extremely dangerous because they put people into categories and set limits that no matter what, people cannot escape due to the fact that so many people put their faith in these false notions instead of faith in individuals to overcome their obstacles.


Mislabeling is also extremely selfish. While labeling someone may cause you relief because it leaves you feeling like you understand a situation, it causes…

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Stop Slut Shaming

*I apologize in advance that language here is very binary, but keep reading and you’ll see why*


According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (and almost every other dictionary) the definition of a slut is “a promiscuous woman.”

Ironically there’s no set word for a promiscuous man. Instead it’s believed that sleeping with multiple people is okay if a man does it because “men have needs” and “boys will be boys.”

Even from a young age, girls are given lectures about “keeping their legs closed” when they hit puberty, while boys are given condoms. Boys are expected to lose their virginity during their teenage years while girls are told that we should save ourselves for marriage. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it should be your choice to do so and not someone else’s.

Even still, it actually doesn’t matter what we do because we will be judged and called names no matter what. If we have sex we’re sluts but if we don’t we’re prudes. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if a woman decides to never have sex or have it every single day with a different person. You don’t get to judge her, call her names, or tell her what she can and cannot do. Especially if you praise men for doing the same damn thing.

This word is so ingrained in our vocabulary that girls call other girls sluts for pretty much any reason possible. She lost her virginity? What a slut.She’s dating a new guy? Such a slut. She wore that short dress to homecoming? She’s so slutty. Congratulations to the patriarchy for embedding internalized sexism into the brains of young girls everywhere and shame on you for not taking a stance against it.

The first time that I was called a slut was in the second grade. No, I was not having sex in the second grade or doing any other sexual activity but that doesn’t matter. One of the other girls called me a slut because I was friends with a guy that she had a crush on. The kid was friendly, nice to everyone. She could’ve been friends with him too but she was too scared to talk to him.But I’m a slut right? Somehow that was my fault.

Women can like sex too. Women should be proud of their bodies. Women are allowed to own their sexuality. Mind your own business and let them do what they want.

Stop slut shaming.


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Book Recs: Feminist Reads

Read, Think, Ponder

womens-history-banner

Every March is Women’s History Month; a time for us to remember, celebrate, and commemorate the contributions and achievements women have made in history and in modern society.

I chose this month’s Book Recs theme to center around feminist reads not only because it’s Women’s History Month, but also because I understand that, for those who want to learn about feminism, it can feel like a daunting and overwhelming task. Where do I start? What’s a good start for an individual interested in feminism? Who do I listen to? Though I cannot answer those questions – as feminism can look different to different groups of people and cultures – my advice is to, a) begin with history, b) read widely, c) listen to a diversity of authors/activists/academics, and d) ensure your feminism is intersectional.

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Basic Self Care You Really Shouldn’t Overlook

We really can’t say this enough: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

Jenny in Neverland

I am all for self-care. Despite the fact it’s deemed a by-product of our generation and sense of entitlement, I can’t help but think, ‘why shouldn’t we be entitled to look after ourselves the best we can?’ And even, on occasion, before we look after anybody else. We are our own biggest commitment after all and we’re the only person in the entire world that we are stuck with forever so for that reason, I believe in self-care and its importance. But what I’ve been thinking about more and more recently is the actual self care “routines” we are often bombarded with which are sure to make us feel better and increase our mental wellbeing.

basic-self-care

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International Women’s Day

While today is a day to celebrate the achievements and advancement of women everywhere, I think it’s also important to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

Yes, women have the same legal rights as men (at least on paper), but we still have so much work to do in society and among ourselves.

Our justice system still does not protect us from sexual assault. Rapists hardly get slaps on the wrist for the crimes they commit. Some states are making laws that pretty much prevent rape from being a crime despite the fact that these laws literally ignore the definition of rape.

Victims of both sexual and domestic violence are shamed and accused of lying when they come forward, yet people rush to defend their attackers without question.

Some people still believe that the gender pay gap and glass ceilings are myths despite the fact that there is evidence and statistics.

The death rates of transgender women (and men) is on the rise. Our president is creating policies that put them in danger and the Supreme Court is ignoring this fact (Google Gavin Grimm).

Still, women who claim to be feminists refuse to understand the concept of intersectionality and only take into consideration women who look like them. The needs and voices of women of color are still being ignored and talked over and therefore defeating the purpose of feminism as a whole because they look up to women like Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer and even Emma Watson.

Yes, the controversy surrounding Emma Watson’s topless photoshoot proves exactly why we need feminism, but let’s not forget that she has criticized other women and questioned their feminism because they did the exact same thing. Fake feminism like that is what’s holding us back.

Lastly, let’s not forget that this fight for gender equality means equality for men and gender nonconforming individuals too, who are severely lacking in resources.

So today, celebrate how far we have come and the strides that we have made. But tomorrow, remember that our work is not yet done.


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International Women’s Day Book Recs!

Confessions of a Book Geek

#BEBOLDFORCHANGE

The theme of this year’s International Women’s Day is #BeBoldForChange – to help women and girls achieve their ambitions; challenge conscious and unconscious bias; call for gender-balanced leadership; value women and men’s contributions equally; and create inclusive flexible cultures.

The World Economic Forum predicts the gender gap won’t close entirely until 2186. This is too long to wait. Around the world, IWD can be an important catalyst and vehicle for driving greater change for women and moving closer to gender parity. Check out the official IWD Videos.

International Women’s Day Non-Fiction Recs

International Womens Day NonFiction Books

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Hearts for humanity.

Vanisha May

International Women’s day is a day to reflect on the progress we have made for an equal world, to hope for the future, to have courage for change, and to celebrate those who have had all kinds of impact on their countries, communities and throughout history.

After marching at the #march4women hosted by Care International in London last Sunday, I felt incredibly empowered and ready to take on the world. The inspiration was in the atmosphere and the hope and ambition of every single person in the crowd was amplified, including my own. After dealing with what seemed to be a hopeless situation where the word ‘feminism’ is still misunderstood and gender is still so binary, I felt like people were finally opening their minds and climbing on board for the fight for equality.

But this was soon shot down. Thanks to me flushing my phone down a public toilet…

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