To Those Who Wrongfully Label – A Letter

Getting Through Anxiety

Dear Label Maker,

Please resist the urge to label that which you don’t understand. I know that sometimes the world can be a confusing place and that it brings out the temptation to create definitions, but doing so can be harmful to others. If you want to understand what someone is going through, please have the decency to ask instead of jumping to conclusions.

Creating false labels is not only caustic to those who you label, but also causes misconceptions and stigmas. Stigmas are extremely dangerous because they put people into categories and set limits that no matter what, people cannot escape due to the fact that so many people put their faith in these false notions instead of faith in individuals to overcome their obstacles.

Mislabeling is also extremely selfish. While labeling someone may cause you relief because it leaves you feeling like you understand a situation, it causes…

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Makeup – Do What Makes You Comfortable

Makeup – to wear or not to wear, that is the question. In my opinion, whether or not you decide to wear makeup should be up to you. If you don’t feel comfortable or like yourself wearing it, then don’t. If makeup makes you feels good about yourself and if you like how you look with it on, then you should feel free to wear it!

I’ve written on this subject before, but after recently watching a great show on Netflix, I decided to write about it again. The show is called One Day at a Time and I’m really enjoying it. The show is a comedy but also has great lessons packed in every episode.

In the episode “Bobos and Mamitas”, Elena who is in high school, chooses not to wear makeup. Her grandmother, who is a big fan of wearing cosmetics, decides to ask Elena to wear some to school, stating that she will be noticed and more respected. Elena, deciding to take on the task, follows her grandmother’s advice.

Fast forward to when Elena gets home. While she admits that people seemed to take more notice in her (more guys stared at her and called her attractive), she came home having had taken the makeup off. Elena didn’t feel comfortable wearing the stuff and so, she removed it. Her grandmother didn’t understand at first, but soon did. Later that evening, Lydia (Elena’s grandma) showed her granddaughter why she wore makeup – she didn’t feel comfortable without it.

The moral of the story is that no matter what others think, you should do what you feel is best for you. If makeup is something that you use and it makes you feel good, then you should wear it. However, just because everyone else might wear it or because they may say that you should, doesn’t mean you have to.

To be honest, I could completely relate with Elena’s view point. I don’t wear makeup. I only wear lip gloss and that’s when I want. It’s not that I don’t  care about how I look or that I think I’m better looking than everyone else (seriously, not the case at all), but rather I don’t wear makeup because: 1) I don’t really feel comfortable wearing it and, 2) I don’t honestly feel like myself. I had a friend in high school put makeup on for me and while I liked how it looked, I just didn’t feel right. I came home and took it off almost immediately.

I think that there are a lot of misconceptions that get thrown around. I’ve heard that if you wear too much makeup, you’re trashy. I’ve also heard that if you don’t wear any, you don’t care about how you look or you think that you think nothing will help you look better (none of which is true for me). I also imagine that some might think that if you don’t wear makeup, you’re showing that you think you’re ‘above’ needing it (again, not true for me either). It’s almost as if some people can’t just accept that we either like wearing makeup or we don’t. Sometimes though, it’s that simple.

Please do what makes you feel comfortable. Don’t let society make you feel like wearing makeup (or not wearing makeup) defines you. Wear it if you want – don’t wear it if you don’t want! After all, it’s your face and you need and should feel comfortable with it!

 

 

Stereotyping Women

Stereotypes are, sadly, used all the time in this world. They’re used on different races, different genders, different religions, etc. However, being a woman, I thought I’d focus today on the stereotypes commonly placed on women either by other women or by men.

Stereotype 1: Women who don’t wear makeup don’t care about their appearances – This is a load of crap and this stereotype always pisses me off. For one thing, I don’t wear makeup other than lip gloss here and there, but you know what? I care about my appearance! Just because a woman doesn’t like to wear makeup or doesn’t feels she needs to does not mean that she doesn’t care about how she looks or that she has low self-esteem, but rather she is practicing her right to feel comfortable and do what she wants.

Stereotype 2: It’s is a woman’s duty to get married and have kids – Wrong! If a woman doesn’t want to get married or chooses not to have children, that is her own business. There are many men who don’t want to get married and there are women who feel the same. Also, I don’t mean to make this about men vs. women, but have you ever noticed that when men don’t want kids, that’s okay, but when women don’t, they’re often times put down for feeling that way? What’s up with that?

Stereotype 3: If a woman is upset, she’s most likely on her period –  I used to be someone that didn’t really get why women got so upset at this, but now I get it. While it’s very true (and I’m not going to deny it) that we as women can get more irritated during that time of the month, sometimes we’re just mad because we’re mad. Just as men have the right to be upset about things, so do we. Saying that we’re angry or being sensitive due to our period is dismissive. Even if you’re right and we’re extra sensitive during that time, pointing it out to us doesn’t make us feel any better. Oh and for the record, just because we’re upset about something during that time of the month doesn’t mean we don’t have the right to be upset!

Stereotype 4: Women are sensitive and that makes them weak – Again, this is not true. Yes, some women are more sensitive than some men but some men are more sensitive than some women. Women are not necessarily more sensitive than men are and even if a woman is sensitive, there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, whether you’re a man or a woman, there’s nothing wrong with being sensitive and sensitivity can be a very good thing. Also, being sensitive does not make you weak and often times, it actually makes you quite strong. Sensitive people are very in-tuned to their emotions and usually care a great deal for themselves and others.

Watch the Labels!

No, I don’t mean food labels! The labels I’m talking about are the ones that we tend to give people. From calling people ‘fat’ to calling people ‘mentally ill’, we need to watch what we say and how we label.

I understand that sometimes, labels are necessary. Labels can help people understand what they’re going through and can also help them gain other possibly needed assistance. However, it is when people are labeled incorrectly, when trouble ensues.

Let’s take medical issues, for example. So many people jump to conclusions about what people ‘have’ without really knowing. This can cause people to make decisions that are less than wise. Also, like a rumor that catches on like wild fire, wrongfully labeled illnesses and issues can cause all types of problems. These problems range from incorrect treatments to verbal abuse.

Let’s take the label of ‘mentally ill’ for example. I hate this label. Yes, anxiety is definitely a mental health issue, but is it really an illness? Some would argue that yes, it is. I would argue otherwise.

I don’t consider myself ‘ill’. This isn’t because I’m in denial but rather because I think that anxiety is something that you can get through and that while there may not be a cure, there are things you can do to manage it. I also think that the term ‘mental illness’ makes it as though anxiety sufferers are ‘mentally insane’. I feel like the media has almost made the two terms synonymous with each other.

Without going into too much detail, I’ve seen people labeled as having illnesses that I must say, I don’t think they have. Again, this isn’t because I’m in denial but rather because I know for a fact that these people I’m thinking of haven’t been tested enough for the labels to be confirmed. The labels were merely hypotheses.

Incorrect labeling is a major issue. Like I mentioned, it can cause incorrect treatment – both medically and simply how others treat the individual with the supposed illness/issue. Also, some labels are simply cruel.

Calling someone fat is another example of unkind labeling. Yes, it is true, there are many individuals who are overweight. Still, is it right to go up to them and call them fat? Is it right to call them things like “fat a*s”, etc.? No, it’s not. So please, watch the labels!

If you think someone has a certain illness or issue, make sure you know what you’re talking about. Make sure before you claim someone has an illness, you have actual proof. Do your research. Also, if someone does have an illness or health issue, don’t make fun of them. If you want to do something, find a way to help.